We’re embarrassed to admit we’re single, and try to pretend that we’re not. We’re supposed to act all cheerful and happy about it. But why should we be embarrassed? We’re living longer, marrying later, and refusing to leave the party before we’re really, really done. So, why do we always tell our stories through relationships? – “How to be Single – Alice”
I feel like this quote was incredibly relevant to my life about 3 years ago! Why? Because I was still getting over a massive heartbreak. So I bet you are thinking what about 2 years ago? Nope, not doing much better! A year ago, however, I realised that I can stop being embarrassed about being single and I was not ready to leave the party!
So I was embarrassed to be single, it wasn’t exactly embarrassment most definitely, I was scared to be single. I was 21 and I wanted to be married at 23 and starting to have kids at 25. (Stop a minute, let’s take a moment because I am about to turn 25 this year and no boyfriend and definitely no kids anywhere in my close future).
Why did I want this? Because I felt like that was the way it was meant to be and it is what society excepts of us. Even last year when I had older coupled passengers on my coaches, they would ask “Do you have a boyfriend? Oh, why not?” Come on dude, I am living a dream life, one that not many are adventurous enough to live, or never get the chance to live out this dream!
In the first paragraph, I mentioned I was embarrassed to be single. And I honestly was, because I hated doing things by myself. I hated getting coffee by myself, I hated getting a meal by myself, definitely no movies or travelling by myself, and sometimes even hated going shopping by myself because I always needed someone’s opinion. So why was this? Because I valued what people thought of me and I always thought people would judge me for being by myself, how bloody silly is that.
Now that I have realised that the only person’s opinion that matter is mine, I can move forward from this part and I no longer give a damn what other people think about me!
I won’t lie to you, I definitely have my moments. I see all my peers from school and my friends settling down, getting engaged/married, buying houses, having kids and sometimes I do wonder if I am doing the right thing by travelling the world. I wonder when that will come for me. I wonder if I should just be moving somewhere and beginning to settle down. I sometimes even wonder if I ever will eventually find the right guy for me and, I admit, I sometimes get scared I’ll just forever be the crazy aunt because I have been wrong so many times before about guys. It can definitely get lonely!
However, in saying that, really I am young and there’s no need to stress, just yet. Single life is actually incredibly great if you take advantage of it. So how are these ways:
1. Booking those spontaneous trips away. You don’t need to consider anyone else and the people you could meet and the things you will see! The other great thing about travelling solo is doing whatever the hell you want while you’re travelling. No compromising, no missing out on things you wanted to do because your partner didn’t want to do it. You get to do you!
2. You can continuously invest in yourself. Want that new dress, want to treat yourself at the spa? Guess what, no one is there to stop you!
Also, by investing in yourself, it gives you more time to figure out who you are, lame AF I know, but it’s true. It gives you the time to work on yourself physically and emotionally. Take advantage of this because it’s important to know yourself and love yourself before you love anyone else.
3. Cutting the toxic people from your life. Whether this actually being an ex yourself, one of your ex’s friend, or even one of their family members. There may have always been that one person that doesn’t sit well with you when you’re in a relationship, but you play nice because otherwise, it would cause drama. Now you’re single/while you are single, you have the opportunity to cut the toxic people from your life and start fresh. You don’t need to please anyone other than yourself, so be around people who make you feel happy and good about yourself because from then on, you know what you value and what you want to be around and you will not settle for anything else!
4. Flirt until your little heart desires! I have definitely been labelled a flirt in the past and honestly a lot of the time, I don’t even think I am flirting, just being friendly. I use to worry about this when I was dating someone but now I can flirt with whoever I want, whenever I want. Besides, It’s harmless fun.
5. Saving dollar bills y’all! Yeah so having a significant other means, buying another person a birthday, Christmas, Easter (I guess), a Valentine’s Day and then usually also an anniversary present. Plus, if your partner is terrible with their money, you will find yourself forever digging into your pocket to help them out, because you know, you love them (yes, I was a fool back in the day.) However, without all these extras, you are going to find yourself saving a heap of money, and guess where that money get’s to go to. . . you baby! It’s all yours! Save it, spend it, bath in it, treat yourself, it is so up to you!
6. Have a summer/abroad romance! you know nothing will eventuate from it, but it’s hella fun and something you can tell your grandkids about when you’re that old inappropriate grandparent!
7. Having your own space! This will relate to guys and gals in your own ways. Ladies, we have the bed to yourself, aka, no snoring! Lads, you won’t have makeup spread all through the bathroom and no tampons and pads hiding in secret spots (because somehow a wrapped up unused sanitary product is scarier than your used underwear or socks laying on the bed/floor after you have been at work all day!)
Lads, get over it.
8. It’s self-rewarding! No one to kill a spider for you, to change a lightbulb, fix the toilet, change your flat tyre, do the oil in your car, or if you are as damn badass as my mum, change the brake pads on your car! You can learn to do so many things for yourself and impress all the haters around you!
As I did mention, single life can be lonely as hell and can leave you self-doubting yourself, however, when you lap up the benefits, it is incredibly self-rewarding!
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY TO ALL MY SINGLE LOVERS!